The scene: one day outside a theological meeting.
TMVRDC: The Most Very Reverend Dr. Church, a prominent leader, highly educated and involved in the church organization.
N: Newbie, a new attendee of the church.
N: Sir, I have a question.
TMVRDC: Go head, I love questions.
N: Do you believe the bible is true?
TMVRDC: Of course.
N: Is it inerrant?
TMVRDC: Of course, it is error-free.
N: So everything in it happened?
TMVRDC:: Oh, I didn’t say that.
TMVRDC: you see, the bible can be inerrant and still have things in it that are not true.
TMVRDC: We have to look at what the author may have intended. If the author didn’t intend for it to be true, then it is still inerrant, even if what is in the bible didn’t really happen.
N: But if it says something happened, when it didn’t, would that be an error?
TMVRDC: No, silly. You’re not understanding becasue you don’t have the right college degree.
N: Let me get this straight. If you sign a contract with someone, but they didn’t intend to tell you the truth, then it’s not false?
TMVRDC: Well, no. That would be false.
N: Then what’s the difference in the bible?
TMVRDC: The bible has troubling things in it, and we don’t want to look foolish to the non-believers. So we treat the bible differently.
N: Oh, I see. But how can you know what the author intended?
TMVRDC: We have our theories about what they intended.
N: But wouldn’t that be your interpretation of their intention? How can you use that as a guideline, instead of what they actually wrote?
TMVRDC: Well, uh…..
N: Do you have any evidence that things in the Bible didn’t happen?
TMVRDC: No, of course not.
N: Then why do you think that some things in the Bible did not actually happen?
TMVRDC: I told you. We don’t want to look foolish in front of the non-believers. We want their respect.
N: But doesn’t the Bible say that non-Christians are spiritually blind? And not capable of understanding Godly things?
TMVRDC: Well yes, but….
N: Have they ever respected any Godly things?
TMVRDC: Well, no, but….
N: Then why are you seeking their approval?
TMVRDC: You’re an ignorant fundamentalist, intent on dividing the church.
N: Also, another question. You claim to be an inerrantist, right?
TMVRDC: Yes, of course. The Bible is error-free. And for the parts where the author didn’t intend to tell the truth….well, those parts did not happen, even though the Bible says they did.
N: What is the difference between the parts you say did not happen, and the parts the skeptics say did not happen? Like the virgin birth?
TMVRDC: But those people are heretics!
N: Yes, I know. I’m trying to find out what is the difference between your method and theirs.
TMVRDC: You’re just trying to cause division! You’re just trying to ruin my career! Good bye.
N: Hmmm. I never did get the answer to my questions.
(fade to black)